Posts Tagged ‘beautiful woman’

I didn’t know i was beautiful, i mean as a kid i was terribly shy and no beauty, even in junior high i was an ugly duckling at least that is how i felt. Looking back now i can see i was becoming beautiful but i didn’t know it, i was insecure and my family made me feel like i was “usual”, “nothing special”.  I never had much friends and always felt that there was something wrong with me, which made me feel insecure. I would only get hit on by guys that were only interested in my exterior and flirting…

It took me years to realize that I am beautiful…not just on the outside but on the inside as well, which is more important. Everyday I am told I am beautiful wether its from a coworker or total stranger and the compliments don’t come just from men. I catch women stare at me, some even come up to me on the street and say “ I am not gay or anything, but you are really beautiful”. I do not think that is purely physical, I am very intelligent and kind, and people say it “shines through”.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and I just don’t see it. I know I am not ugly but I do not see what they are seeing. And the part about always being suspicious of a man’s intentions is true. It takes me a long time to to trust someone as I have put my heart and feelings out there for close people to have it stomped on.  I am not writing this to get sympathy, I just want to find answers as to why this happens and find a way to avoid the loneliness…

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To start my research I decided to find out what the word “loneliness” mean, here is the wikipedia description: “ Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental, emotional, and spiritual factors”

 Then I went to google and read forum conversations from different sites for hours as to what people say. And here are some quotes:

“Nobody ever asks me out. Perhaps I should leave the bag on my head when I am about town” – CottonCandle, San Francisco

“Before I got together with my current S.O., I haven’t been on a date in 5 years” – Kitty Katia, Las Vegas

“I wouldn’t call them lonely. I do think there’s something to it in the sense that most guys are intimidated to approach certain girls. Ironically I think most assume that since they look great, they must already be with someone.” – R Marquez, San Francisco

“It’s absolutely true about the guys being afraid to approach. I usually need to give a CLEAR green light for any guy to hit on me” & “I’ve always told my guy friends… the big secret is really hot women are EASIER to tie down than average ones, because most guys think they can’t and don’t even try” – Sabrina Maree, West Hollywood

“Yeah, some guys don’t believe that I am attracted to them, even when I clearly am hitting on them. One guy put me through a serious of tests, like having friends question me as to if I was truly interested and why… But I mean, what the hell could my motive be? Wasn’t like he had money I could be after! WTH? But that’s weird to me how they won’t believe…” – Ararity, NY

I even found couple comments from man, here is one that struck me: “It seems to me the more beautiful they are the more evil and stuck on themselves they are. They say they are lonely because they can’t have what they want, they’re greedy, superficial and snotty. They think that a has to be wealthy or a supermodel to even talk to them. If you look at a beautiful woman they get an attitude like what are you looking at…” – thomasedwin

Yes, there are women like that, sadly man like Thomasedwin get burned and lose trust in women. First of all it depends on the definition of “beauty”, I believe beauty can be shown not only in physical attributes but mostly it is characteristics that can be seen with our subconsciousness  we just need to learn how to recognize it. I believe most of us met people that might not be beautiful when we first look at them, but the moment we start to communicate and look at them more closely, we notice that they are the most amazing people and all of a sudden we get really attracted to that person. So yes, I believe beauty can be “shining through” from inside.

But lets get back to the physically beautiful women.

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She is beautiful? She is ambitious, goals, and prestige for herself… yet men only confront her for sex or don’t confront her at all? Women gossip about her and make for any moment to make her fall. She has done nothing wrong to anybody. She just wants to be loved, appreciated and taken seriously in the relationship. Why is the road for such woman is so hard? Why is true love and true friends so hard to obtain?And what must she do to keep her self-esteem from crumbling?

Beautiful women often suffer from self-esteem issues because they aren’t sure who they would be without their looks. For example, they have to constantly wonder if a man is with them only because of their looks, and they don’t feel valued or seen for who they are. Men approach them constantly but these women know it’s because of their appearance so they almost feel insulted, because they feel the guy is blind to who they are and just seeing them as an object. Men will admire her physically but do not bother to want to know her mind, why? It is perceived as a hard work for a lot of men. Many men will not want to even attempt to handle such woman, so they will opt for the easiest route possible and only want to have sex with her, then disappear and never even realize that this person is a marvelous, genuine person whom would be ideal for them.

The truth is that many men find beautiful women intimidating, my classmate (male) recently said, “Lina, we are more intimidated by beautiful woman, than by smart woman. To be with a beautiful woman, a man has to have no self-esteem issues and be very confident”.  I have to agree, otherwise the door to insecurity opens up pretty wide and relationship crumbles, sometimes before even starting. All man really needs is to be calm, self assured and totally genuinely love and trust his woman.

As for women, it is envy, she has it all as far as they can see, they want it and don’t have “the gift” so what do they do? Gossip about her and secretly wish she would fail at something or be lowered somehow.

However, to the beautiful but lonely women out there, you absolutely must keep your self-esteem, self value and realize that you have real value to someone, that someday you “prince” will arrive, love and trust you genuinely, deeply, totally and sweep you off your feet to the romantic love life you always dreamed about in your lonely hours, it can and it will happen to you, time is the master here. There is a man out there that who will see you value, your qualities and not be at all intimidated by you, in fact it will be complete opposite, it will be a case of “total crazy emotional attraction” to you. Someday it all will happen.

 

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