Posts Tagged ‘empowering’

dont let her go

I can teach you how to love me.

If you take the time and truly want to know. I can teach you what each of my head tilts mean. I can teach you all the secrets of my body. I can teach you how to handle me when i am moody, how to console me when i am crying, what to say when i act strange or distant around you.

I can show you my wicked smile, the one that only comes out sometimes, the one i put on only when the root at the base of me and all the darkness of the world come prancing up on my spine when i have to let it wiggle and scream because without that it would consume me, as i become the immediate channel for something great and deep and wide and appalling.

I can teach you why and how it hurts when i don’t get attention. I can teach you, that sometimes i will push you away, but inside i will slowly die because i do not want that, and i regret every moment and secretly hope you will not listen and will not go… that in reality i want you to hold me tight and lift me in your arms, and never let me go… i want you to fight for me…

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I can teach you how while i have claws, i have choice about when i use them, i can teach you how to declaw me faster and better each time.I can teach you how to preempt my tantrums, how to make it safe for me to come out and play, how to bring forth my love like shining beacon of depth and warmth and delight and freedom.

I can teach you what to do when i reach for you – or maybe you already know. Maybe there are things you already know about me, about how to be with me, just from the way i move or sit or stand or share or the way i light up or shut down.

I can teach you these things, offer them up like so many pebbles, worn and smooth and pure, because i found them and ground them away down into their essence, made them soft by my own tears and trauma. I can bring them to you like a secret offering, fetching from depth of my soul and my anguish, inspired and transpired by the innocence with witch a child places total trust and responsibility in the hands of people who don’t and can’t know everything right all the time.

I learned these things, in fact, to teach you.

When it was hard and i wanted to stop and i wanted it to stop and i wanted to make it stop, when i wanted to arrest the humiliation or destroy the awakening or hold onto the hate or shutter the screams or beat my fists across walls or cover my ears and board up my eyes and silence my mouth forever, i thought of …

The only thing i need from you, the only gift i need you to give me, the only rendition and chorus i require, is for you to ask…

I need you to ask.

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Women….

When i say this word i feel power in it… Strong energy that females have in them…

But the truth is that women today do not know how to embrace their femininity. Particularly in contemporary culture women are conditioned and pressured to do, be and have all.

It is extremely hard for a woman to win in this environment, so it’s no wonder that woman are on constant overload. And, it’s no wonder that woman have overcompensated by relying on masculine traits and qualities. They have to be the decision maker, they have to goal orientated, they have to suppress their emotions, and they have to have it all together because want to live up to the image of being able to do it all: effortlessly. And, in a culture where men are afraid to project and cultivate their masculinity … women out of survival are driven to adopt more masculine traits. Because if they can’t rely on a man to get things done, then THEY are going to have to do it all.

If you were to pose the question, “Are women more independent today than they were decades before?”, I would say “No!” Because now days they are so desperately trying to compensate for something that they can only truly get from a man. I would say women today are more at a disadvantage because they simply CAN’T admit their desire and need for a man. They have repressed their own desires as a feminine woman. What they really need is a man that is strong. A man that can ride them through all that stress and really ground them when they feel like their world is spinning completely out of control. But it takes a man who completely is able to embrace his masculine and his dark sides. It takes a man who can truly claim his woman. It takes a man who has equal levels of balance of masculine and feminine within him.

The problem these days is that women are given too much control. Their ego’s are inflated and because they say to themselves that they don’t need a man … most men shy away because they think … well what does she need me for anyway? How can I possibly give her any more than what she already has? Men, I want you to know that even though she can’t say it – she so desperately needs you.

Feminism is no longer about equal opportunity for women. Actually it is not about equality of women and their rights but more became of a desire to be more like a man, at least that is what i noticed in american women. When originally feminist movement started it was about equal rights – such as in contract law, property, voting, reproductive rights for women, equal pay, protection of women right from domestic violence, sexual harassment and sexual assault. But some how into all this process women lost their feminine energy and understanding that yes, we need equal right under law, but we are women… and have our own powers 🙂

Being feminine means many things, but none of them have to do with giving up your power. In fact, it is our power. I think this is the most incredible ability and power that God gave us.

Feminists are teaching women to be “strong and independent.” This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman’s need. They want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

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A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn’t mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn’t pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort.

A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be “known” in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word “know” as in Abraham “knew” Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved. Women’s liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a “used” woman? He doesn’t want a car that’s been driven by a lot of men. He doesn’t know where it’s been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife’s words: “A man wants to be a woman’s first lover; a woman wants to be his last.”

I’m not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving long term relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That’s the only guarantee of sex anyway.

Femininity means being open, kind, and positive. It means receiving gracefully and giving generously . . . not of material things, but of your heart and your genuine self. It means being your man’s biggest fan and letting him feel that his efforts to please you are appreciated and welcomed.

Many modern women ~ younger and older women alike ~ have exercised only a part of their feminine natures, and not the most important parts. They’ve not yet fulfilled their great duty and destiny as women, and hence are below the standard of truly feminine and ideal women.

In addition, give a marriageable bachelor and married man a woman with elegance of manners, exquisite tenderness, flexibility of voice, ease and propriety ~ commingled with

freedom of expression and conversation ~ and those practical lessons of feminine wisdom which flows, or should flow, from her lips.

A masculine man of high value and true alpha male may admire and be sexually attracted to a young beauty, doll. But he truly admires, respects, and often worships, an older ‘well finished’ and truly feminine, womanly and charming woman! From the latter, he gathers more information, satisfaction and fulfillment, as well as derives more pleasure from her company. And from an hour’s conversation with her, he gains far more than from the typical young beauty, and from weeks of chit chat with the shallow, vapid and/or simpering girl of eighteen to twenty five.

With a true feminine woman it’s quite evident that she’s a woman of substance. It’s also evident that you’ve watching charm in action. Such a woman is always sparkling and effervescent, and she’s often exerting herself, and can talk to a man brilliantly and illuminatingly.

A true feminine lady has the beauty, the brains, the charm, the grace, the radiance, the mystique, and the sex domination to win a chosen man to her way of thinking ~ while having his best interests at heart.

(Warning: Many women privately hate such women due to envy, including much younger women.)

When i say this all in this article, i think do we really so weak and need fight for equality with a man… or should be be proud to be women, and embrace our feminine energy and power. I think women should be proud to be women, they are the most incredible and loving creatures and should be proud. I am proud to be A Woman.