Posts Tagged ‘heart’

head-vs-heart

Dear Heart,

I have a vein to pick with you, as I’m feeling pretty insecure and unsafe about a few things.

As you know I cut you out of my life for years because your desires were too big for me to handle and I was not strong enough to support and manifest them.

However after a painful game of tug of war, your strength eventually outweighed mine.

I surrendered respectfully and we re-connected. I listened to your every wish and did what you asked, as much as it broke my ego from every direction. I became your servant and your organizer and everyone thought I was mad for the choices I made.

I left my relationship, my career, I moved, I travelled.

I shocked everyone! I felt love again, true passion. I found my creativity, I found myself.

Things have been great. Now you want change again? You’re teasing me with dreams of far away places as I close my eyes to rest. You whisper in my ear as I’m waking up. You want me to uproot and explore again.

Why? Don’t you think about the future? Do you even have a plan?

If you are all about love, then why do you make me do things that hurt?

Why do you draw me towards people and then ask me to let go? Don’t you realize this breaks their heart? And mine too? It breaks you!

Why do you inflict so much pain on yourself?

Heart, sometimes I wish you were content with clothes, cooking and children like the other women. Don’t you realize people think we’re lost, reckless, crazy?

Heart, you’re too wild for me. But I promised I’d always listen to you. Please just tell me everything is going to be okay.

Yours truly,

Head x

***

Darling Head,

I know it seemed like my desires were too much for you to handle, but they were never too big, you just allowed fear to make the final decision every time until we eventually disconnected.

You see Head, all I see from down here are opportunities to experience love and to grow. This requires change, movement. Either we’re moving deeper into something, or moving on from something.

I’m here to push you out of your comfort zone.

The pain is the cracking open as I become vulnerable, expand to my absolute limits of love, learn to accept love in, or let it achingly pour out.

Love is constantly connecting us to and moving us on from people and experiences. Some connections last a lifetime, others last only a moment. It’s painful to accept that some things don’t last forever.

There is beauty in this pain.

Let other people think we are lost. The truth is, their hearts may be just as wild, they just haven’t been brave enough to really listen. The laws of the heart are too divine for us to understand, they are beyond time and space, they exist only in the moment, they don’t need a plan, they are the plan.

If we continue to be fearless and move with the flow of love, I promise you—everything is going to be okay.

Love,

Heart x

(ref. Annalise McLean)

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“He who contemplates the depths of Paris is seized with vertigo.

Nothing is more fantastic. Nothing is more tragic.

Nothing is more sublime.”

― Victor Hugo

“A walk about Paris will provide lessons in history, beauty, and in the point of Life.”

― Thomas Jefferson

Paris… i spend 2 weeks there… living in the apartment, taking a metro, having coffee in brasserie,  walking around history and thinking… The city, definitely makes you think about yourself and “the point of life” as Thomas Jefferson said.

The feeling that The City gives you, i believe she is not actually giving us a particular feeling, it more of a wayfinding in touch with yourself… Everything you have inside all of a sudden comes out and makes you feel this rush of emotions, feelings, understanding and confusing at the same time. Paris brings it all out in an open space to your mind where you not always ready to deal with what is coming your way…

I think Paris is one of those places that can amplify whatever you are feeling – so if you go in love with the idea of visiting the city of your dreams, that will be reflected in your experience. If you go as a couple in love… all the rush of feeling “in love” will be magnified.  And if you are melancholy from being alone, you might end up crying over your fate. Sometimes we get caught up in illusion of romantic City, where magic happens.  But i think it is better to visit Paris alone the first time. Just be yourself and feel her. What i think is, that Paris in a way a soulmate to all and each one of us… Paris is not a perfect fit like in a mediocre understanding of a word “soulmate” is, she is like a mirror, something that shows you everything that is holding you back… She brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. I think everyone in their lifetime should visit Paris, because this city, when you let her in your life… somehow becomes part of you, and she reveals layer of yourself to you that you never expected to see or even know it existed.

How many minds opened, how many hearts brought to maturity, how many powerful natures fulfilled!…No matter where we look, Paris turns out to have been the decisive element. Without Paris, Jefferson would not be Jefferson, Franklin would not be Franklin, Chopin would not be Chopin…Freud would not be Freud…Picasso would not be Picasso. That list could be remade a hundred times over, and in almost every domain of human activity. The role of Paris in all this is active, not passive. The people I have named did not ‘have a good time’ in Paris. Paris drove them to give of their best and defied them to fall short of it… Paris broke them down, teared them apart and broke their hearts open so new light could get in… That is the true romance.

I do not think that after visiting Paris i became a new person, or that i had the most amazing time there… no. But i must say, i cannot stop thinking about her, about the streets and uneasy feeling i felt during my visit. The reasons could be different, the mind set i was in when i came to Paris, uneasy life situations… anything can be discussed for hours… but to me i am glad i had this wonderful experience and i hope that my next trip to Paris will be not to try figure myself out, but to enjoy sunset walks, public kisses, and romantic side of Paris. I believe that for now Paris did what had to be done to me at this period of my life… to tear down my walls and bring out all the feelings that were deep inside, to decide as to what i want in life and why, to see my heart from inside out and to understand my mind, to make my heart and mind work as one… It is raw now, and painful, and broken… so i hope now i can let the light in, finally… to feel in heart what it never felt before…