Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’

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“ I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not happy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. to share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know – unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide. Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.” (James Kavanaugh)

What do we want in life? Really and honestly, mostly honestly answering this question from the heart, and not lying to ourselves. I was sitting in a shower today, crying, and thinking about my life. I had a wonderful day today, i spent it on a beach, having lunch at french Cafe, walking through the waves, feeling sand between my toes and enjoying a nice breeze… I felt happy and sad at the same time. When i came home i could not stop tears from coming down. So, what makes me sad? What do i want? I believe i don’t know, or am i just lying to myself that i don’t know…

Do all people know what they want in life, do they know it from childhood, or do they figure it out in the course of their lives?

Reading the above quote by James Kavanaugh made me think about my life. Actually all past year i have been working on the realization of what i want to achieve in my life, what makes me happy and who i want to share my sadness and happiness with.

I believe that through pain and tears, through happy moments, through people we meet on our path, with all our scars we become stronger and realizes what we want and who we are. The pain we carry so deep in our hearts, that never goes away, we can just dull it a little, this pain makes us the amazing human beings that we are. If everybody lived in a happy and naive world, would there be so much incredible art, poetry, scientific discoveries?.. I don’t think so. Reading all the philosophers, modern and from history, looking at the art, reading biographies of great people, i noticed that they all carried a certain amount of pain that motivated them to create, to pursue what they believed was worthy and turned out it was. None of them had pleasurable and completely happy life. So, why does pain motivates us more then happiness?

Sometimes i feel envious of people that have no conscious, that nothing in their mind and heart pushes them to a place that is so unsettling and brings pain.  Sacrifices that we make in life for the sake of others, or “greater good” are they worth it? What is better to be in peace with your conscious and be not completely happy, or be happy but you conscious beating you because of your decision to be happy?

So far, i have more questions than answers, but life is a journey, and someday i hope to find answers to as many questions as i can.

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What we do (hobbies, work, roles) matters. It says something about our souls. But I also think that we can get too caught up in what we do when how we are matters more.

Date a woman who knows the beauty of being alone.

Date a woman who is hard-headed, who is not afraid to speak her mind, who can be stubborn and passionate and wants to have the occasional debate because she wants to learn how you think and how you see the world. She questions assumptions (including her own), explores ideas, breaks molds. She is naturally curious. She wants to be stretched.

She wants to change your mind and she wants her own mind changed.

Date a woman who knows fear, sorrow, loss. Who isn’t scared to get naked. She knows that her own beauty lies in knowing her true value (but now and then she forgets, and then you can step in to remind her).

Date a woman who knows her way around her own heart and is not afraid to break it. She knows what it wants and she stands up for it with conviction.

Date a woman who knows how to make real eye contact, because she values intimacy. She thrives on her capacity to build authentic relationships and surrounds herself with only this kind.

Date a woman who knows that she loves at least one thing fiercely: her children, her work, her art, her trade, her garden, her animals.

Date a woman who knows that taking/offering space to grow can sometimes be the best kind of love that one person can offer another, even when this means saying goodbye.

Date a woman who you are unsure of at first, not because she doesn’t seem like enough but because she scares you a little bit in her realness. Yet she continues to surprise and challenge you in this very way every time you see her.

Date a woman who knows how to laugh at herself, who might sometimes just crack the corniest jokes but they make you smile anyway.

Date a woman who sees as much possibility in sitting in silence as she does exploring every nook: world, body, mind, soul. She holds a quiet confidence. She walks with purpose.

Date a woman who knows that her heart is fragile. When it becomes too melty and heavy she might tuck herself away to feel better: let her. Then drop her a note or stop by for tea to lighten her up (she will need this but might not be able to ask for it).

Date a woman who will drop everything in a millisecond to help a friend in need.

Date a woman who knows that love is something that comes from inside, not something that she can ‘get’ from someone else, because she knows that she is love(d).

Date a woman who accepts herself today but (gently) pushes herself to be better the next. You will want to do the same by just being around her.

Date a woman who understands the problems with being ‘too busy.’

Date a woman who is sure about this one thing: that we can never really be sure about anything.

Because life is fluid. And each day she realizes how beautiful and scary this is, and so she humbles herself to it. She starts each every day looking to learn, experience, create, teach something new, because she knows that this is what makes life (worth living).

Date a woman who knows art and music. She may not create it herself but she needs it to move through her because it makes her (and the world) better.

Date a woman who understands the value of taking a risk, who is not afraid of making a mistake because she knows how to pick herself back up after she falls.

She’s ready to accept your offer to help her up the next time she does.

Date a woman, not a girl. But when the little girl in her comes out now and then (and she will), you will still love her as the woman that she is.

Be with—no, know—a woman who wants to understand herself a little better each day. She wants to understand you too. You may not have met her yet, but in a way she already does.

(reference Renee Picard)