Posts Tagged ‘you’

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Today i was in a melancholic and deep thinking mood, reading Andrea Gibson poetry. So i decided to share poem that really touched my heart and mind. 

“I want you to tell me about every person you’ve ever been in love with.
Tell me why you loved them,
then tell me why they loved you.

Tell me about a day in your life you didn’t think you’d live through.
Tell me what the word home means to you
and tell me in a way that I’ll know your mother’s name
just by the way you describe your bedroom
when you were eight.

See, I want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate,
and if that day still trembles beneath your bones.

Do you prefer to play in puddles of rain
or bounce in the bellies of snow?
And if you were to build a snowman,
would you rip two branches from a tree to build your snowman arms
or would leave your snowman armless
for the sake of being harmless to the tree?
And if you would,
would you notice how that tree weeps for you
because your snowman has no arms to hug you
every time you kiss him on the cheek?

Do you kiss your friends on the cheek?
Do you sleep beside them when they’re sad
even if it makes your lover mad?
Do you think that anger is a sincere emotion
or just the timid motion of a fragile heart trying to beat away its pain?

See, I wanna know what you think of your first name,
and if you often lie awake at night and imagine your mother’s joy
when she spoke it for the very first time.

I want you to tell me all the ways you’ve been unkind.
Tell me all the ways you’ve been cruel.
Tell me, knowing I often picture Gandhi at ten years old
beating up little boys at school.

If you were walking by a chemical plant
where smokestacks were filling the sky with dark black clouds
would you holler “Poison! Poison! Poison!” really loud
or would you whisper
“That cloud looks like a fish,
and that cloud looks like a fairy!”

Do you believe that Mary was really a virgin?
Do you believe that Moses really parted the sea?
And if you don’t believe in miracles, tell me —
how would you explain the miracle of my life to me?

See, I wanna know if you believe in any god
or if you believe in many gods
or better yet
what gods believe in you.
And for all the times that you’ve knelt before the temple of yourself,
have the prayers you asked come true?
And if they didn’t, did you feel denied?
And if you felt denied,
denied by who?

I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling good.
I wanna know what you see when you look in the mirror
on a day you’re feeling bad.
I wanna know the first person who taught you your beauty
could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass.

If you ever reach enlightenment
will you remember how to laugh?

Have you ever been a song?
Would you think less of me
if I told you I’ve lived my entire life a little off-key?
And I’m not nearly as smart as my poetry
I just plagiarize the thoughts of the people around me
who have learned the wisdom of silence.

Do you believe that concrete perpetuates violence?
And if you do —
I want you to tell me of a meadow
where my skateboard will soar.

See, I wanna know more than what you do for a living.
I wanna know how much of your life you spend just giving,
and if you love yourself enough to also receive sometimes.
I wanna know if you bleed sometimes
from other people’s wounds,
and if you dream sometimes
that this life is just a balloon —
that if you wanted to, you could pop,
but you never would
‘cause you’d never want it to stop.

If a tree fell in the forest
and you were the only one there to hear —
if its fall to the ground didn’t make a sound,
would you panic in fear that you didn’t exist,
or would you bask in the bliss of your nothingness?

And lastly, let me ask you this:

If you and I went for a walk
and the entire walk, we didn’t talk —
do you think eventually, we’d… kiss?

No, wait.
That’s asking too much —
after all,
this is only our first date.” 
― Andrea Gibson

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To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Be yourself. If you water yourself down to please people or to fit in or to not offend anyone, you lose the power, the passion, the freedom and the joy of being uniquely you. It’s much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself.” – Dan Coppersmith

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” – unknown

Many people I talk with feel that they have no joy in their life. They feel obligated to do so many things that they don’t have time for themselves and the things they really want to do.

As a result, people feel drained, anxious, and resentful. With so many outside forces competing for their time, energy and financial resources, is it really any wonder they feel this way? So what do we do? How can we remain balanced among this sea of obligations and commitments?

The answer is to live consciously. By looking at each decision we are making and by asking ourselves, “Is this really what I want to be doing? Is this really what is right for me?” And then by making sure our actions stay in alignment with our true intentions.

Saying yes when we mean no often causes us not to trust ourselves. It damages our confidence and lowers our self-esteem. We stop trusting ourselves, and that is usually the beginning of all the self-esteem issues and low self confidence.

So why do we do it?

From a young age, we are conditioned to act in certain ways in order to feel loved and accepted. This is the beginning of our loss of personal power and authenticity. A simple example is when our parents tell us what is bad or good, like it is bed to draw on the walls with crayon, but it is good to clean dishes after we eat… and so on. When we born, we are not aware of what is good or what is bad. Yes, conditions and family in which we grow up build us and our personality, but we also can create our own persona as we like later in conscious life.

In order to create change we will need to recondition our beliefs by discovering what is really true for us. Recently, with all life changes, i decided to go to therapy and figure out who i really am. Sometimes we get lost in life, in responsibilities and in other people, usually our loved ones. But who we really are sometimes is more important, and to figure that out sometimes we need guidance. I always felt that i knew exactly who i am and what i want in life, but now i feel lost a little… it is like a juggle, you learn how to juggle with two oranges and then life all of a sudden throws in 3 more, and you need to learn how to juggle 5, and not lose yourself in the process. Because you, are the most important! Your happiness, your piece of mind, without you – what is the point of your life?!

These are the questions I ask myself to become aware of any patterns and beliefs that no longer work for me. Once you become aware of these beliefs, you can simply begin to consciously change them.

Ask yourself: “Why am I doing this? Is it because…”

  • I will feel guilty if I don’t?
  • Everyone else is doing it, so I should too?
  • I want others to think I am a nice person?
  • I want to feel accepted?
  • I don’t feel good enough about myself to do what is really right for me?
  • I have trouble saying “no” or being myself around certain people?

If you have said “yes” to any of the above questions you are cheating yourself out of the things that bring you happiness and joy!

I came across post called “12 things happy people do differently” by Marc

#1 Express Gratitude

*When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciate in value

* If we aren’t thankful for what we already have, we will have a hard time ever being happy

#2 Cultivate Optimism

* People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.

#3 Avoid over-thinking and social comparison

* Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous

* The only person you should compare to is yourself before now

#4 Practice acts of kindness

* Selfishness helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside

#5 Nurture social relationships

* The happiest people on the planet ate the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships

#6 Develop strategies for coping

* It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsal, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal

#7 Learn to forgive

* Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being

#8 Increase flow experience

* Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still

* It is when you are focused on what you are doing that you become one with task

* Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus

#9 Savor life’s joys

* Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to enjoy the joy

#10 Commit to your goals

* Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get somewhere

#11 Practice Spirituality

* When we practice spirituality or religion, we recognize that life is bigger than us

* We surrender the silly idea that we are the mightiest thing ever

#12 Take care of your body

* Taking care of your body is crucial to being the happiest person you can be.

The next time you hear yourself saying, I love to garden…but I don’t have time or I love to golf…but I’m too busy remember you can choose differently. You can choose to believe you are valuable; what is right for you does matter, and that your happiness is a priority.

Your life is the culmination of each decision you make every moment (whether you are aware of what you are choosing or not). Begin to understand the intention behind every action you take and make a conscious decision to do only what is right for you. Gather the courage each moment and say “no” to anything or anyone that doesn’t allow you to be yourself, or to live in alignment with your dreams.

What will you choose? Will you choose to stay in power by acting with the knowledge that you are responsible for every action in your life? Or will you continue to give your power away in order to feel valued and accepted in the eyes of another?

The choice is ONLY ours to make.

 

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– Would you be jealous if I thought of any woman from my past , being next to you ? Would you worry that I can get away from you to her ?

 – No .

– I guess you do not love me .

– You do not know what you say. Love has nothing to do with jealousy and fear of losing . I love you, but if you want to leave because you can not forget the other woman – it will be good . This will be true. Because if you had stayed , it would mean that you’re lying. If you go, it’s just going to mean that we are not right for each other , and it’s good that you’re gone . Because if you stay – you would have held the position of who is right for me . Anyone who comes to me – do not go away. There is no need to worry about. All is well .

– You’re so weird … like if you do not know how to feel and be affectionate… 

 – Love has nothing to do with attachment . Attachment and jealousy, it means i would not love myself. Fear that someone will  not fall in love with real you . You must not compare myself to anyone . You – it ‘s you. You have your own life . It is given to you. It’s a gift . Do not waste it by comparing yourself with others. This is misleading . You have to look only at yourself . Then you will not go wrong …

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— Ты стала бы ревновать, если бы я думал о какой-нибудь женщине из моего прошлого, находясь рядом с тобой? Стала бы беспокоиться о том, что я могу уйти от тебя к ней?
— Нет.
— Наверное, ты не любишь меня.
— Ты не понимаешь, о чём говоришь. Любовь не имеет ничего общего с ревностью и страхом потерять. Я люблю тебя, но если ты захочешь уйти потому, что не можешь забыть другую женщину – это будет хорошо. Это и будет правда. Потому что если бы ты остался, это означало бы то, что ты врешь. Если ты уйдешь, это просто будет значить, что мы не подходим друг другу, и это хорошо, что ты ушел. Потому что если бы ты остался – ты бы занимал место того, кто подходит мне. Тот, кто подходит мне – не уйдет. Не надо ни о чем беспокоиться. Все хорошо.
— Ты так странно любишь… Ты будто совсем не умеешь привязываться…
— Любовь не имеет ничего общего с привязанностью. Привязываться и ревновать, значит – не любить себя. Считать себя хуже кого-то, бояться, что такого как есть – тебя – не полюбят. Ты не можешь ни с кем себя сравнивать. Ты – это ты. У тебя есть cвоя жизнь. Она дана тебе. Это дар. Не трать её на сравнение с другими. Это заблуждение. Ты должен смотреть только на себя. Тогда ты не ошибешься…